Shit Happens, According to Religion & Politics

The famous “shit happens” in English: many flavors, one distinct smell…

Into everyone’s life a little shit must fall. Call it what you will: poop, caca, defecation, excrement, bad things….it’s all the same — shit.

Image Credits: Vecteezy, Poop Emoticon Vectors (

It happens to everyone; no religion or politics can escape it’s soggy, magnetic pull.

So, without further ado…


  • Taoism: Shit happens.
  • Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
  • Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
  • Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
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  • Hinduism: This shit happened before.
  • Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
  • Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
  • Stoicism: This shit is its own reward.
  • Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
  • Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.
  • Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
  • Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
  • Capitalism: Shit happens to me more than to you.
  • Materialism: The winner is to whom the most shit happens.


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  • Atheism: I don’t believe this shit.
  • Seventh Day Adventist: Shit happens only on Saturday.
  • Existentialism: Absurd shit.
  • Agnosticism: What is this shit?
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, knock…shit happens.
  • Feminism: Men are shit.
  • Communism: Shit happens equally to everyone…except for the leaders.
  • Political Correctness: Heavily processed nutritionally-deprived biological output happens.
  • Masochism: Do shit to ME.
  • Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.
Image Credits: Vecteezy, Poop Emoticon Vectors (