Shit Happens, According to Religion & Politics
The famous “shit happens” in English: many flavors, one distinct smell…
Into everyone’s life a little shit must fall. Call it what you will: poop, caca, defecation, excrement, bad things….it’s all the same — shit.
It happens to everyone; no religion or politics can escape it’s soggy, magnetic pull.
So, without further ado…
- Taoism: Shit happens.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
- Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
- Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
- Hinduism: This shit happened before.
- Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
- Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
- Stoicism: This shit is its own reward.
- Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
- Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.
- Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
- Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
- Capitalism: Shit happens to me more than to you.
- Materialism: The winner is to whom the most shit happens.
- Atheism: I don’t believe this shit.
- Seventh Day Adventist: Shit happens only on Saturday.
- Existentialism: Absurd shit.
- Agnosticism: What is this shit?
- Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, knock…shit happens.
- Feminism: Men are shit.
- Communism: Shit happens equally to everyone…except for the leaders.
- Political Correctness: Heavily processed nutritionally-deprived biological output happens.
- Masochism: Do shit to ME.
- Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.